Angeleias’ Scrawl

Comment: What happens when you stop loving the person you thought you could never live without? No, I suppose the feeling does not suddenly leave, but goes on a steady decline. Less and less does the impact of that feeling go, yet more and more you find yourself realising the ultimate pains that person has created in you and wonder ‘how did you ever like him’? However, there is this feeling tugging at you. The fact is, you still love him, deep down, no matter how angry and frustrated you become, you know that in the end, he is all you ever wanted.
Word Count: 205

She watched his peaceful face. She stared at his soft features. She wished for a miracle, a miracle that would get him to open his eyes yet he continued to lie there on the bed, a soft pulsing sound emitting from the machine beside him. He has been motionless for hours. Oh yes, only hours, yet to her, it seemed an eternity.

She could not stop wishing that it should have been her. Of all things, he was foolish to have made such a rash action. She suddenly stood there, cursing her self, cursing him, cursing many things for their own unique foolishness. She unclenched her fists. She fell to the seat beside him and gently took up her position holding his hand once more. She was so desperate for him to awake from his slumber.

Minutes passed. Time was going unbelievably slow. She stared at his eyelids, beginning to forcefully hallucinate that he was opening his eyes. She was delusional. It was maddening. Why was she here? Of all the things he had ever done to her, painful and regrettable, something she wished she never experienced, and yet here she was holding his hand and hoping upon a miracle that he would wake soon…

Comment: Guess where I got this idea from? I found an image of a wounded girl in the rain whilst browsing through Google images. Yes, aren’t my ideas original. Still it sparked my interest and here it is.

Word Count: 474

His mobile phone rang. He glanced at the vibrating phone before turning to the window. It was dark and raining heavily. His eyes flicked towards the computer screen, tapping away at the keyboard, plainly ignoring the call. He soon turned his attention back to the phone and held it up. His girlfriend’s name flashed on his screen. The time was 6:57pm. He pushed the receive button.

He could hear loud pattering on the other end. It sounded as if she were standing in the rain.

“Hello?”

He heard a soft groan before several distant coughs followed after. The rain was much too loud to hear clearly. She smiled into the speaker.

“Hello,” came her clear voice. However there was a slight strain to the sound; a strangely forced impression. He was slightly puzzled. There was another distant cough.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh. Yes.”

There was a momentary silence. He was confused. She rarely ever called him this late on his cell and usually she’d get back home and meet him online. She did not seem to have anything to say to him either, but something was bothering him.

“I love you.”

He re-composed himself. What was she saying? No, why was she saying that?

“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”

“Nothing wrong. Just rang to say I love you. Good bye.”

“Wai-” She hung up.

He looked at the time again. 7:03pm. She was usually walking back home around this time today. She lived only fifteen minutes from his house. He grabbed his jacket and umbrella and headed straight into the night.

She had extra classes so he was usually home before she was. He took a short detour towards the school and started to take a right turn after spotting the school in the distance. He was headed for her place. Not long had he taken this route, he spotted her school bag and contents scattered on the road ahead of him. He ran forwards in slight disarray. He took moments to take in the surroundings. What threw him were the strange crimson stains on her workbook. He immediately lifted his head and yelled for her.

He only needed to take a few steps before he saw a faint white figure huddled against the wall. He sprinted with a heavy heart. Taking in the scenery as he got closer, he could not help but cry painfully within. He practically leapt to her soaked body, her arm now wrapped loosely around her wound. He stared nonplussed at her slender figure. The rain now covering any potential wetness arising from his eyes. The umbrella thrown aside he had grabbed for her mobile, his other hand grasping her freezing fingers tightly against her wound. Fumbling desperately on the keys he dialled emergency and all he could think about was whether or not it was too late…

Comment: My mind changes in thought. I agree, I disagree. Thoughts come into existence as I ponder and I begin to learn and realise more, “see” more… Still, it is my thoughts and whether anyone enjoys it, loathes it, it is their view.

Death.

I was thinking of it. Where did I come from? No no, how and when did my mind begin to exist in this physical reality? Where was it before I was born? How about after? Would it just be this complete nothingness? How could a mind suddenly enter into existence then disappear just as suddenly as it came?

I begin to realise why people fear death. They imagine their mind goes on forever just staring into darkness. (At least so I think.) Of course, this would drive any man insane. However, I believe differently. When one ceases to be amongst us, their mind vanishes along with it. In some way or other, the “soul” leaves the body. Simply, the brain ceases to function. You “know nothing”, “see nothing”… Really, there is nothing to be afraid of because you would not even know you had gone.

After all, what had happened before I was born? Assume that is what death is. Just a plain blank. You just enter into existence.

But there is this undeniable yearning to stay immortal. I do not want to just “disappear”. For years/decades/centuries, I do not want to just not be. I want to stay alive and watch the planet evolve, to see how things progress. Perhaps that is why many religions suggest an “after-life” or a “reincarnation” of sorts. It is a belief where one is potentially able to “live on immortally”.

Oh, this is where the fear comes in. The fact that your physical entity will rot away while as much as you wish, you will never ever breath, hear, speak, listen, feel… again. That is it. After your life of several years, there is no more to you. All the millennia before you have gone by without you knowing, and the moment you vanish, an eternity will continue on.

I see it now. “Live life to the fullest.” You have less than a century, and only that time, to do what you can and what you wish. Go for it.